What I Now See

Twice now, my CATs have shown that my lesions have grown…

It’s a strange realization that you may not be around for another Christmas, another summer.

We are, after all, human.

And as humans, we always think we’ll live forever. 

But this disease pushes you to acknowledge your mortality.

To think in terms of a finite number of days.

To change your perspective.

And those changes…

Sharpen your senses.

You notice how water feels as it washes over you.

You stare in wonder at the universe above you.

You feel your heartbeat and hold it close.

I like that.

We now live in a world that rushes everything.

That reduces our attention span to that of a goldfish.

That makes us impatient.

Unkind.

My world is no longer rushed.

I now savor the moments.

Like hearing Henry purr as he stretches his paws to touch my face…

We have all been given a beautiful life. 

Even with its challenges and heartache.

It is that pain…

That expands our understanding.

That stretches our compassion.

That enlarges our hearts.